Discovering your mate is gay can be devastating. When we, Straight Wives, get this news our world crumbles.....and we find ourselves in a "fog". A "fog" is when you are not thinking as clearly and rational as you would normally. The "fog" sometimes dulls our ability to make "sound" decisions and it is a natural response to a Grief reaction. Often times when we find ourselves in a "fog" of emotions...it is beneficial to surround ourselves with people that LOVE us and have our best interests at heart. In an effort to survive the "fog" and to be able to make better decisions it is very important to create a Support Team. A good Support Team can help you get on your healing path. As well as, help you remain focused when the path is full of obstacles.
What is a Support Team? A Support Team is a group of friends and family members that have your best interest at heart. It is someone you know that is mindful of your welfare and well-being. It is someone that treats you with respect and honors who you are. It is someone that offers support to you emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. without being controlling and telling you what to do. It is someone that has the ability to be a great listener. It is someone that lives with integrity. It is someone you counted on in the past. So, who in your life can you identify that are strong in above areas? Once you identify the people, make a list. Try to come up with at least 5 people that will be on your Support Team. Once you identify those 5 people, take the time to talk with each of them. See what their thoughts are...and if they are okay with being a part of your team. You may be very surprised how willing someone is to help you when you ASK! Do not assume they know you need the help and support! Ask them.
Many people also have at least one professional on their Support Team. It could be someone you have a professional relationship with. For example, a professional Support Team member could be a Life Coach, Therapist, Minister, Chaplain, Priest, Rabbi, etc. There are some benefits to having a professional as one of your Support Team members. The greatest benefit being, the professional member should be trained in helping you untangle situations. Therefore you can approach situations with greater clarity to make better decisions. Another benefit being, the professional Support Team member should be unbiased in the situation. Therefore, he/she can offer different solutions from many different perspectives. Thus, the professional Support Team member may be able to uncover more solutions/options than you have thought of.
Collectively, this special group of people in your Support Team can be your "sounding" board when you are making a decision. As well as, be there when you need someone to listen or vent to. Everyone needs a Support Team when heading through major life transitions. A good quality Support Team can make a huge difference in your ability to heal. Take the time to make a list of your support team today.
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