Saturday Seminar Teleclasses

Hello! I would like to "introduce" you to my new Saturday Seminars.
I will be conducting several Saturday Seminars (Teleclasses) throughout next year. The very first one will be conducted on January 2, 2010. The focus of the first Saturday Seminar will be on HEALING & GOAL SETTING for the New Year. Come join a group of Straight Spouses that are eager to change their life for the better. Start the New Year off in the right direction among a group of Straight Spouses that understand. This Telecourse will be beneficial for those currently in a Gay/Straight Marriage and those who are out of the Gay/Straight Relationship. After the Saturday Seminar is finished, I will hold an optional Question & Answer session for the participants. There will also be a bonus on the call. One random participant will receive a complimentary Straight Spouse Coaching session with me!

What: Saturday Seminar Teleclass
When: Saturday, January 2, 2010 @ 1:00PM Eastern Standard Time
Cost: $25.00
Note: You will need access to a phone to call into the Teleclass.

Are you ready to for positive changes in your life? Are you ready for a wonderful New Year? If so, contact me MistiLynnHall@aol.com for questions, registration and payment arrangements. Wishing you a Happy Holiday Season. Give yourself this important gift! You deserve it.

Your Straight Spouse "Sister",
Misti Hall, M.S.

Other People's Comments.....

WARNING....I am ready to get on my soap box. Why do people make so many inappropriate comments to the Straight Spouse? I have encountered many unsavory comments from people. In my Life Coaching practice I hear about terrible comments on a daily basis from my clients. Unfortunately, these comments sting like a bee and can be damaging.

Rule number 1....if you don't know what to say, don't say anything. My Mother taught me this when I was in kindergarten. Come on people....you can understand this one!

Rule number 2....don't give "expert" advice about a subject in which you have no experience. The old saying goes.....walk a mile in my shoes before you comment and/or pass judgment.

Rule number 3....if you are going to throw rocks at me.....at least make them heart shaped.

All this stems from a conversation I had a few days ago. I ran into an acquaintance while I was out running errands. We had a very enjoyable conversation....until she asked what I was doing professionally. I explained to the acquaintance that I do Life Coaching for Grief related issues and for Straight Spouses. She applauded me for my work and I thanked her. Then, it went down hill from there! She continued to tell me that she "knew from the first time she saw my ex-husband that he was gay". That comment wasn't enough...she proceeded to say, "Well you knew he was gay when you married him. You can tell by how gay he acted. I knew he was gay. It was so obvious he was gay." I didn't think her expert "gaydar" comments were ever going to end. Finally, after silently counting to ten....taking a big deep breath.....and in an attempt to numb the STING of her comments, I looked at her squarely in the face and said, "do you think I would knowingly marry someone that I knew was gay?"......"do you think any Straight Spouse wants that type of hardship?".

The conversation ended and we began talking about something else. Needless to say, I left the conversation with a STING. It irritates me when someone gives unsolicited "expert" comments. Who grants them the entitlement to say rude comments? Maybe I am more sensitive to rude comments because I am trained as a therapist. I am trained to respect other people and their life circumstances. I am trained to not give unsolicited "expert" advice. None the less, it offended me for all Straight Spouses out there.

When people make comments such as this....the underlying messages to Straight Spouses are......you should have known better.....you asked for it.....you were stupid...etc. Well, Straight Spouses are none of the above. Most Straight Spouses, unknowingly marry gay men or lesbians. They fell in love with someone and hoped for a wonderful future. They fell in love and had no idea of the hardships and heart break their marriage would bring.

So, before you offer someone your opinion or expert advice, think twice. Are you contributing something positive to the person...or could it possibly be offensive? Most of all, don't assume you know some one's story. Be compassionate and kind to others. And...don't be throwing rocks at people....we ALL live in glass houses.

Self-Esteem

Often times straight spouses have little to no self-esteem. Knowing that your spouse is gay can be very damaging to your self-esteem. There are many things that can lead to low self-esteem. For starters, our culture already promotes the essence of a woman to be unrealistic. Then add a gay spouse to mix.....it spells for disaster in the self-esteem department.

So, as a straight spouse, how can you rebuild your self-esteem? Thankfully, there are many things to rebuild your self-esteem, self-love, confidence, etc. First of all, start with the basics. The basics can be any form of self-nurturing practice. Some good self-nurturing habits can be....

Taking 5 minutes to do deep breathing/cleansing breaths, express your feelings by writing in a journal, create positive affirmations for yourself, take a walk out in nature...breathe the fresh air, exercise, eat wholesome foods, drink lots of water, try a new hair style, etc.

Often times we forget our basic needs while living in the jungle of life. It is especially important to practice self-love and self-nurture while navigating through your gay/straight relationship. The more you take care of yourself.....the faster your confidence, self-esteem and self-love will grow.

So, take time for yourself...you are worthy of self-care and self-love. Do something for yourself TODAY!

Workshop Update

Hello everyone!

Where has the time gone to this fall? I am late in posting...time seems to run away! Anyway, I would like to let you know that I have a couple of spots left in the next workshop. The workshop starts October 14, 2009 and will meet for 6 consecutive Wednesdays via telephone from 8:30-10:00 PM Eastern Standard Time Zone. The workshop has been changed a bit. It will include Straight Spouses from all different stages of the journey. I have had such a wonderful experience with the first workshop.....and I realize that it is helpful for the spouses to be in all different stages. The Straight Spouses have given me amazing feedback on how this workshop has helped them. Most importantly, the Straight Spouses are finding their way into a beautiful life. We have shared pain....and transformed that pain into discovering a new self...and discovering a life full of opportunities.

So, if you are struggling in a Straight/Gay relationship, consider taking the workshop. The workshop honors discretion and your identity. You have the option of not using your real name on the conference calls and in our private online site.

The workshop is designed to heal...and to build up your self-love and self-esteem. It offers a non-judgmental place to share your fears and to find ways to move forward in your life. In the workshop you will get 6 live conference calls, homework assignments, unlimited email access to the facilitator (the one and only, me!) and 1 live follow-up conference call a month after the workshop has ended. Everything for 150.00!

If you want to join in....email me ASAP and I am open to payment arrangements. Give yourself the GIFT of nurturing and caring for yourself.

UPDATES and New Scheduled Workshops

I have a couple of announcements for this blog. The first announcement is.....I am looking for guests to post every now and then. I would like to open the floor to people's different experiences about being in a straight/gay marriage or long term relationship. So, if you are interested.....email me or post a comment. If you want to stay anonymous, I am open to that too. I will post your writing...or you are welcome to use a "pen name". I am also looking for LOVING and NON-JUDGMENTAL professionals to guest post in areas that covers Spiritual issues/ Religious issues, Health issues, and Mental Health issues. I am wishing to include useful information on this blog that covers all the bases of Mind, Body and Spirit in relation to Straight/Gay relationships. So, if you are interested, please contact me via email. MistiLynnHall@aol.com

The second thing I would like to announce is...I really want this blog to be full of helpful information and resources. So, if you have read a great book on the topic...or found an amazing resource...post it in the comments. I will soon figure out how to navigate this blog...and have links to resources.

Lastly, I would like to let you know that I have just added two new online/telephone workshops. I am getting great reviews from my current workshop participants. I am honored to be able to bring women together on conference calls to allow them to share their pain, triumphs, fears, love....everything...nothing held back! The greatest part...the participants can do this with anonymity and from the comforts of their own home. The only requirements for taking one of my online/telephone workshops is that you are able to make long distance phone calls one time per week....and you have access to a computer (and have very basic computer knowledge).

I will be starting two new workshops in October. The workshops are called "Picking Up The Pieces" and "Transformations". Both of the workshops will last for 6 weeks.

"Picking Up the Pieces" workshop is best for those that have recently discovered their spouse is gay.....all the way up to a year (or more) after discovery. This main focus of this workshop is "picking up the pieces" and exploring options for your future. As well as, self-esteem and self-love building activities.

What

6 weeks of online/telephone workshop for Straight Spouses
Starts

October 6,2009 @ 8:30PM-10:00PM Eastern Standard Time Zone. We will gather for a group conference call for 6 consecutive Tuesdays.

Cost: $150.00

"Transformations" is the other workshop I will be offering in October. This workshop is designed for the straight spouse that has been separated/divorced for more than a year. We will be focusing on honoring your past while discovering and celebrating your new beginnings!
This workshop is designed for those that have moved forward….yet are wishing for support in their present and future relationships with themselves and others. This workshop will focus more on self-love, self-esteem, self discovery, and confidence building....to repair the residue left from your straight/gay relationship. It is recommended that you have been out of the Straight/Gay relationship for a year or more before signing up for this workshop.

What

6 weeks of online/telephone workshop for Straight Spouses
Starts

October 14, 2009 8:30PM-10:00PM Eastern Standard Time Zone. We will gather for a group telephone conference call for 6 consecutive Wednesdays.

Cost: $150.00

For more info check out this link: http://straightspousecoachingpackages.blogspot.com/

Important note to all...these are Life Coaching Workshops. These workshops and services are NOT meant to be a substitute for Medical and Mental Health services.

If you have any questions about the workshops...please contact me via email (MistiLynnHall@aol.com). If you are having trouble figuring out which workshop to join...send me an email and we will discuss it further. As always...wishing you LOVE, HEALING and A RETURN TO HOPE.....

Misti